Ill Gotten Gains: Diary of a Gentle Grifter by Macon Lence

Author:Macon Lence [Lence, Macon]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bethwick Books
Published: 2023-09-12T04:00:00+00:00

22

MRS. NONE-OF-YOUR-GODDAMNED-BUSINESS

Despite the spine-chilling, grotesque carnage of the day before, that I feared was going to be forever engraved in my mind’s eye, a guy’s gotta eat. Breakfast at Norma’s at the Parker was simply one of my top five favorite things in the entire world. No exaggeration. It was simply divine, decadent, and worth every penny. It had better be, when breakfast there can easily run well over ten thousand pennies for two people.

On that Monday morning, the sky was an impossible rich blue with not a cloud in sight. A comfortable breeze was blowing as we walked up to the hostess stand and asked to sit outside on the patio where an orange-fabric draped trellis shaded the diners below. We were sat at a two-top in the corner then took a few moments to ogle a famous game show host who was sitting a few tables away, eating with friends. As I glanced around I thought I’d spotted a sitcom actress on the other side of the patio, but I couldn’t be absolutely certain, and I certainly couldn’t remember her name, or the title of the show she starred in.

In any event, it was the kind of place celebrities could be comfortable and unbothered. I liked that about the joint. If we were sitting in a Las Vegas eatery, the game show host and the actress would most definitely be mobbed by adoring fans who cared nothing about boundaries or decorum. It was my understanding that didn’t happen in Palm Springs (or Aspen, for that matter, in case you’re uber-famous and planning to go skiing this winter).

“What are you going to get?” Drucilla asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I don’t usually eat a proper breakfast at a sit-down restaurant. This is new to me.”

“If I were flush with cash, I’d get the Zillion Dollar Lobster Frittata with a heaping scoop of Sevruga caviar, but I think I’ll settle for a couple over-medium fried eggs, the Applewood smoked bacon, sourdough toast, and blueberry pancakes.”

She shook her beautiful mane. “Oh, is that all?”

“You don’t think that’ll be enough?”

“If you’re the Jolly Green Giant maybe.” She giggled then took a look around. “This is heaven. I’ve never seen so much greenery in the desert.”

“The resort’s water bill must be astronomical. Although, Palm Springs sits on an underground spring—hence the name—so maybe water isn’t as expensive here as it is back in the Vegas valley. Or maybe they have their own well here.”

Dru crinkled up her pretty face. “Why do you even think about things like that? Can’t you just enjoy life and stop questioning everything?”

I ignored that because tall shot glasses of Norma’s signature blueberry smoothie were delivered along with a large pot of coffee. We ordered our meals—Drucilla got the Very Berry Brioche French Toast, which I thought sounded more like a dessert or something off an IHOP menu—ate hungrily, then topped off the meal with a couple of tall Bellinis. The meal hit all the right spots and we both admitted we were comfortably stuffed as we sauntered back towards the villa.

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